I could just be an astronaut or the president or a cupcake alligator.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up. I've already grown up, right? Still, no clue.

I'm at a crossroads where I could either try to turn our bike business into either:

A. a regular business like this year, try to make a profit, or:

B. a nonprofit, drawing a small salary for each of us, providing cheap bikes to the community, cheap rentals, cheap repairs, and stuff like subsidized bike lighting so that people in this city don't ride around in the dark. The lighting thing came to me when I was walking to the store in the dark - I looked behind me and saw a person at the top of my street, then he whizzed by me ten seconds later. I stopped and talked to him at an intersection and mentioned he should get a light, that I hadn't seen him. He didn't speak wonderful English, but the next time I saw him, he had a light. I'm hoping maybe that will help him either not get hit by a car, or not accidentally hit a pedestrian (nothing here is very well lit). Maybe people would donate to us, maybe we could get a few grants if we formed a committee to promote biking, maybe people will just give us their used bikes as a tax writeoff and we can turn those into covering operating costs.

Or, we could continue the bike business as a part time side thing, and I could get a full time job outside the home and we could make more money and buy more things.

I'm not really sure what to do. I like the bike stuff. But it's not a huge moneymaker. This is my time to use my fresh degree, and all of the business school's resources and job fairs and job banks, to get a job that can lead to a career. In two or three years, I'm not really going to have that.

But I am not really a fan of money, either. We've got what we need, we could always use more, we're not far from broke since we've had to pay so many medical bills, but we won't be homeless - if Mike loses his DJ gigs that can all change in an instant, but for now we are surviving because we buy used EVERYTHING. When I was working 45 hours a week, I spent so much money on commuting and food at work and my car... it's almost a question of being worth it.

Even if I don't get a job, my degree has already helped immensely, it's made us able to start the business and be confident we're not making huge financial mistakes. It's made it possible for me to handle basic accounting without needing to pay an outside bookkeeper.

Either way, I can't imagine NOT getting a job after both kids go to school, because I am not the kind of person who can just sit idle for very long. Unless it's during a nap. I guess I'll have to just see what I can get on the job market, and make sure it's enough to cover daycare and leave me with enough to pay bills.